The Hammies - More Delicious Than The Grammys and Just As Meaningless

Today, we find ourselves squeezed between two pop culture events.

Last night, the Grammys were held in Los Angeles, and Adele and Foo Fighters deservedly cleaned up.  Unsurprisingly, Foo Fighters had a great performance, and Dave Groehl had one of the greatest acceptance speeches I've ever heard.  What was surprising was that Taylor Swift also had one of the best performances of the night, introduced and accompanied by the awesome and soon-to-be-huge folk group, The Civil Wars.  Don't get me wrong: I consider her recorded radio hits a bit of a guilty pleasure.  However, when she performed live, I had never heard her put three consecutive notes together which Randy and Paula wouldn't describe as "pitchy."  This performance was wonderful, and she played the banjo to boot!  Well done, Ms. Swift!

Tomorrow, of course, is Valentine's Day, and when I think of Valentine's Day, I think of a romantic dinner at my favorite restaurant featuring delicious pork dishes and fine champagne.  So, today seems like the perfect day to celebrate music, love, and pork with The Hammies, awards for the best love songs of all-time in various CATEGORIES.

LAST DANCE AT A MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCE (if you're in your 30s)

Nominees:

When I See You Smile – Bad English

Heaven – Warrant

Hysteria – Def Leppard

The Flame – Cheap Trick

I’ll Be There For You – Bon Jovi

I Remember You – Skid Row

With or Without You – U2

And the Hammie goes to...

I GAVE YOU MY HEART; YOU GAVE ME A PEN

Nominees:

Maps – The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Stolen – Dashboard Confessional

Black – Pearl Jam

Skinny Love – Bon Iver

Secret Garden – Bruce Springsteen

Cryin’ – Roy Orbison

And The Hammie goes to...

CHEESY, GOOEY GOODNESS

Nominees:

Right Here Waiting – Richard Marx

Hey There, Delilah – Plain White Ts

No One – Alicia Keys

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Open Arms – Journey

(Everything I Do) I Do It For You – Bryan Adams
More Than Words – Xtreme

I’ll Be – Edwin McCain

And the Hammie goes to...

‘TIS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST…

Nominees:

Ain’t Too Proud to Beg – The Temptations

What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted – Jimmy Ruffin

No One Sleeps When I’m Awake (Arnioki Sessions Version) – The Sounds

Sideways – Citizen Cope

Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone – Bill Withers

It Must Have Been Love – Roxette

The Last Goodbye – Jeff Buckley

I Want You Back – The Jackson 5

Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper

Stay – Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories

November Rain – Guns N’ Roses

This Year’s Love – David Gray

And the Hammie goes to...

BOW-CHICKA-BOW-BOW

Nominees:

Can't Get Enough of Your Love – Barry White
Son of a Preacher Man – Dusty Springfield

Possession – Sara Maclachlan

Paradise by the Dashboard Light – Meat Loaf

Your Love - The Outfield

No Ordinary Love – Sade

Smooth Operator - Sade

Let's Get It On – Marvin Gaye

Sexual Healing – Marvin Gaye

Let’s Stay Together – Al Green

D*** in a Box – The Lonely Island ft. Justin Timberlake (What?)

And the Hammie goes to...

I HAVE A CRUSH ON MY FRIEND, BUT TO HIM/HER, I HAVE THE SEXUAL MAGNETISM OF A GRAHAM CRACKER

Nominees:

Good Enough – Sarah Maclachlan

I’ll Be There – The Jackson 5

You’ve Got a Friend – Carole King/James Taylor

To Be With You – Mr. Big

Eternal Flame – The Bangles

Alone – Heart

Lovesong – The Cure

Grenade - Bruno Mars

She Will Be Loved – Maroon 5

Against All Odds – Phil Collins

And the Hammie goes to...

YOU LOOK MAHVELOUS

Nominees:

Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton

You Are So Beautiful – Joe Cocker

Just the Way You Are – Bruno Mars

Just the Way You Look Tonight – Frank Sinatra

Yellow - Coldplay

And the Hammie goes to...

LET’S JUST SIT ALONE AND HOLD EACH OTHER

Nominees:

Just Breathe – Pearl Jam
Falling Slowly – Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
Babylon – David Gray
Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’Connor

I’m Yours – Jason Mraz

And the Hammie goes to...

WHAT I PICTURE THE COUPLE FROM “THE NOTEBOOK” LISTENING TO

Nominees:

Unchained Melody – Righteous Brothers

When a Man Loves a Woman – Percy Sledge

Cupid - Sam Cooke

Unforgettable – Nat King Cole
What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong
At Last – Etta James

Walk The Line – Johnny Cash

Bus Stop – The Hollies

And the Hammie goes to...

LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL

Nominees:

She Bop – Cyndi Lauper

Photograph – Def Leppard

Dancing With Myself – Billy Idol

U and UR Hand - Pink

Blister in the Sun – Violent Femmes

I Touch Myself – The Divinyls

Pump It Up – Elvis Costello

And the Hammie goes to...

LOVE IN MANY FORMS

Nominees:

God Only Knows – The Beach Boys

Landslide – Fleetwood Mac
Crazy Love – Van Morrison

Jersey Girl – Bruce Springsteen

Bizarre Love Triangle – New Order

Just Like Heaven – The Cure

Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley or Rufus Wainwright (originally performed by John Copeland)

Drops of Jupiter - Train

Such Great Heights – The Postal Service

Everlong – Foo Fighters

And The Hammie goes to: 

LAST, AND CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, BEST LOVE SONG EVER:

The Top 12 are:

12.  White Shade of Pale - Procol Harum

11.  Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows

10.  #41 - Dave Matthews Band

9.  I Was Made to Love Her - Stevie Wonder

8.  To Make You Feel My Love - Billy Joel (originally performed by Billy Joel)

7.  I'll Stand by You - The Pretenders

6.  By Your Side - Sade

5.  Your Song - Elton John

4.  I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt

3.  In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel

2.  I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie  (which also has the best amateur-made music video I have ever had the pleasure of watching)

And the Hammie goes to:

1.  Anna Begins - Counting Crows

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OUR WINNERS!!!  YOUR AWARDS WERE DELICIOUS!!